Bye Bye Shorthand

It's been a long time coming and today is the day.  I'm leaving Facebook.  For now.

Facebook is great and horrible at the same time.  I held on for so long because the good outweighed the bad.  The connecting, sharing and understanding more about people was more prevalent than the gossip, negativity and ranting.  I can handle it on occasion but not constantly.  You can say ignore it all you want but what you immerse yourself in will eventually consume you.  I decided that my willpower was not stronger than the power negativity has.  I wish it did.

Something happened when I decided it was time to walk away.  I came to a few realizations that have nothing to do with negativity but everything to do with the easiness of Facebook.

#1.  With a few clicks on my phone, I am able to post pictures of anything I take.  I don't need to say anything about it, I can just post it and move on to the next.

Problem: Maddy's pictures are so fun to share but it became about getting the cutest pictures to show instead of capturing the beauty of my daughter and admiring it.  I would get frustrated with her if she didn't smile.  "Don't you want everyone to talk about how cute you are, Maddy?  (with gritted teeth) then SMILE GOSH DANG IT!!!"  Do I want to capture a smile or a memory?  It was more about a smile and I'm ashamed to admit that.

#2. I was able to overshare with people that have nothing to do with me.  I love sharing my thoughts and feelings but I do not enjoy throwing my pearls to the swine.  I want to share with people who care and who seek me out, not just throw my thoughts out for people who have no connection to me and wouldn't speak to me if they passed me on the street.  When did that become a good thing? 

#3. I overshared and undershared.  This is the worst of all for me.  I used to call myself a writer.  I can still remember the excitement of creating a story, the time it took to carefully select the right phrasing for a poem, pouring out my heart to God and others in letters... I traded my passion for one or two lined status update that barely reveals any kind of skill or thought.  It was so easy to drop a line with no explanation and call it a day.  It makes my head hurt just thinking of it.

I'm a reader- formerly of books but recently of status updates, short quotes and comments.  Which will enrich my life?

I'm a writer, though I've lost my way.

I used to dream about writing a book someday and then it faded into the background as I became overly involved in social networking.

The moment I made the decision to leave Facebook, I felt relief.  I will no longer be consumed with little blurbs that fill my day.  No, I will embrace more moments with my baby and husband.

I will connect more with those I care about in a deeper way than on the surface that is provided by Facebook.  The quality of my real life friends will be 100% more important than the quantity of comments I receive on a post (I do like Blogger comments though!  :)).

I will read literature that encourages creativity and thought in me.

I will write.  Really write.

I will regain my passion for all of these things.

If you are here, thank you.  Thank you for caring enough to seek me out.  I hope that I can encourage you to discover who would seek you out.  Isn't that what life is all about?  Connecting, REALLY connecting?